Yu Yu Hakusho Rants
by Emeralddragon694
Summary: The Characters of Yu Yu Hakusho have something to say to everyone...aka rants done by the YYH characters.
1. Chapter 1

Anime Rant One:

Juliet: Hello people of Earth/Ganymede!

Keoko: Why Ganymede?

Juliet: It's my home planet 

Keoko: 0.o Okay…

Juliet: Anyway, I'm here to let some of everyone's favorite Yu Yu Hakusho characters have their little rants. Enjoy!

BEGIN!!!

Hiei: Okay you stupid humans. So Juliet and Hikaru introduced me to this "fanfiction" of yours and I would like to say three words. What. The. Hell. Seriously, why the hell would I ever make out with Kuwabara? Have you people not noticed the hate between him and me? Have you not noticed the fact I want to puke every time I see him? Apparently not.

Second off, these "incest fics" are nasty. YUKINA AND I ARE NOT A COUPLE AND NEVER WILL BE!!! Yukina is my sister, and despite all my efforts to stop her from knowing it, she has learned of it. Don't believe me? Watch the end of the Chapter Black/the beginning of the Three Kings sagas and you'll see what I mean. Yukina would never make out with me and I would never let her!

And these "Keoko and me" fics, god, where do I even begin? You people seriously think that just because I kidnapped her I want to fuck her? No. Fail. Wrong. I kidnapped her to lure Urameshi to me, who would bring me the artifacts who would make me supreme ruler of the worlds. And beside, she's that damn spirit detectives.

At least it's better than the ones with me and Shizuru. Like I would touch anything that was related to Kuwa_baka_.

Juliet: Okay Hiei, that's all the time we have for you. Next would be Kurama, be he's freakishly polite and to nice to rant about couples, other than the "manga only, special extra in the back of volume 7" couple that half the fans who know about it desperately wish were true because Kurama deserves love too! So next is Youko.

Youko: In the anime, how do they describe me? Juliet, my insane stalker, will tell you. Juliet?

Juliet: They say you're unbelievably cold hearted and ruthless.

Youko: Exactly. Hell, I went around a murdered/robbed people because I was bored. Most people would knit or something. So why the hell would I fall in love with anyone?

Juliet: Don't get me wrong, I'm as big a YoukoXHiei fan as the next girl, but Youko has a pretty solid point on this one.

Youko: Exactly. Especially not Shiori. She's basically my mom. No one modern day marries their mom! And to be honest, most of the other girls scare me. I mean, you have to be tough to put up with Yusuke and Kuwabara's shit, but not _that _tough. Hell, they should have kicked Kuwabara out of the tournament and had Shizuru compete. But I digress.

Yukina. Yes, she's pretty. Yes, she's sweet. Yes, she's naïve. And yes, anyone who goes out with her would get murdered by Hiei. I, being Youko, don't have to worry about that, but Yukina is a bit too sweet and naïve for me. It gets on my nerves. Besides, where I ever to fall in love, it have to be with a girl who would be able to handle watching someone die without crying.

Juliet: Thanks for reading! *glomps Youko* You know Youko, I can totally handle the sight of blood…

_AN: Okay, please don't get offended by this. I'm just doing this to make a point. Some of the fanfics out there are VERY far off the mark. Ex.) Once I read a HieiXOC fic, where he fell in love with her at first sight, and it was Kuwabara's sister. Hmmm, what's wrong with that story? Anyway, I'm trying to stay as in-character as possible, but it's not the easiest thing in the world to write a ranting Hiei. Anyway, thankies! Oh, and Hikaru wanted me to put in who she was. She's my Onee-chan, and a Hiei fangirl, where I am a Youko fangirl, if you couldn't tell. So yes. _


	2. Chapter 2

_Rosaline: Chapta Too! And yes, I ment to spell it this way, just to piss of Juliet. _

_Juliet: *freaking out in background* Horrible spelling! Sis, make it stop!_

_Rosaline: Never! And why are you Juliet? You hate Juliet. It's Ophelia you like. _

_Juliet: Why are you Rosaline when the Romeo and Juliet Rosaline is pretty?_

_Keoko: Are they always like this?_

_Kurama: Pretty much. _

_Youko: The whole "sibling fighting" thing. Rosaline is another one of those girls that scare me by the way._

_Rosaline: YOUKO!!! WHERE'S KURO-CHAN!!!_

_Juliet: Rosaline, you have a boyfriend in real life. _

_Rosaline: I guess he has competition now, huh?_

_Horatio: …what?_

STORY START:

Keoko: As you all know, I am an A student. So it really bothers me when people will write something like this:

An then the too will go to the placee.

People, there's this wonderful little thing called spellcheck. Why don't you try and use it! It's okay if you miss something's and make some homophone problems, but seriously, grammar check people!

Shizuru: My turn. Now, some people take a nice long time writing out their stories and adding details. Let's all applaud for them. *claps* but some people write their stories in a way called "IM Writing". Let's take a SakuraXSasuke fic Juliet will make up off the top of her head for example.

_Sakura: Sasuke…_

_Sasuke: What Sakura?_

_Sakura: I'm…I'm pregnant. _

Shizuru: Now, here's the other way of writing.

_Sakura bit her lip as she looked at Sasuke. "Sasuke…" She whispered. "What Sakura?" He turned to glance at her and started when he saw the tears starting in her eyes. "I'm…I'm pregnant."_

Shizuru: SEE WHAT I MEAN!!! You get so much more detail and it is a lot easier to read. But I think that in some cases it's okay. If you're doing a comedy spiel or an interview, that's just fine. But don't go trying to be dramatic with IM talk, because chances are you'll fail.

Juliet: Okay, I think that's all for today.

Yukina: W-wait! I want to do a rant too.

Everyone: *stares*

Yukina: *blushes* Please! I'll try my hardest!

Juliet: *squeals* AWWWW!!! You're so cute Yuki-chan! *glomps* go ahead Yuki-chan, fire away.

Yukina: Uh…Okay…um…*clears throat* It bothers me when people use mean words towards women! At the temple, Genkai-sama is nice to everyone and they call her mean words and I don't understand why! And when I go out to shop for her, sometimes people call me a "Broad" and a "slut" and I don't even know what those words mean! Genkai-sama says not to let it bother me, but it does because I don't like it when people don't like you just because you're a girl, or you're human, or anything like that! That's too close to the reason Onii-san was 'killed'. *tears forming in eyes*

Juliet: *sobbing* Yuki-chan… *hugs*

Rosaline: *whipping eyes* Yukina-chan *hugs too*

Juliet: See everyone! You made Yukina cry! Stop the prejudice and sexism for Yukina-chan!

_AN: Yes, I know I was going for a grammar themed one and suddenly tapered of into prejudice, but that's okay! The reason was my sister, Rosaline, pushed me out of my chair and read my thing and complained it was too short. So I was like "what do you want me to do Rosie?" and she said "add Yuki-chan, everyone loves her." So I did. _

_Rui Amano: Thank you! I was going to rant with Yusuke and Kuwabara too, but I don't read enough Yusuke and Kuwabara fanfics to really get a feel for it, and it was more of a fanfic ranting chapter. I'll have them rant eventually (probably…) _


End file.
